I like this post as it makes his character more interesting. In the films (yeah, movie-only, sry) he is shown as more self-cntered, as in not entirely aware of how his axns can affect ppl. That does not mean he isnt also sacrificing when stakes=high.
idk maybe because i’m so.. involved? but i mean even in the films i don’t see him as self-centered
like when he’s talking to loki, giving him the head count? the only person he doesn’t mention is himself. because this is it now, shit’s got real, this is tony actually doing something not just being tony snark with his smirk and his women. and he never mentions himself, even when he flies up to the window with the suit on, he says phil. and it’s because tony doesn’t think of himself as a hero or anything really of worth in the situation, so he doesn’t list himself. even when he’s talking, he alternates between including himself (‘we have a hulk’ ‘that’s what we call ourselves’) and not (‘when they come’). this is it, you know, talking to a god, a god who is about to bring war upon the whole planet, and he never mentions himself. when, arguably, he’s one of the big guns of the team.
i just think that tony, not tony stark, tony doesn’t really know how to relate to other people? and so often that comes across as him being self centered. like in iron man 2, he doesn’t tell anyone about how the palladium is poisoning him, and it seems like he just turns it all back on himself and lets other people suffer while he has a kicking party etc etc. but he DOES try to tell pepper, on the plane, he tries, as much as tony ever CAN really try to communicate normally with other people about actual problems. but she just shrugs it off, not all of us run on batteries tony, and it hurts. and so tony goes ahead, he does stuff that, yeah, hurts other people. but it’s not really helping him either, he’s not really having fun, i don’t think. not at that party. but here, it’s not that he’s not thinking of other people, it’s that he just thinks they don’t care. he doesn’t think anyone cares what he does anymore. so he hides behind his suit (the tony stark smirky one) and throws a massive drunken party. and he even wears the iron man suit, because that’s two layers of protection. but i don’t think this is tony being self centered and wanting to throw a party, but tony giving up
because people don’t care about tony. but people care about tony stark, and they care about iron man, and so he gives them what they expect and want
so yeah i think tony does sometimes do things without being aware of how they affect other people. but he doesn’t do it on purpose he does it because he is just woefully unaware of actual, true, human interaction really and he’s kind of bad at reading emotions at the end of the day, and he assumes that no one in his life actually cares about him (everyone wants something from him or is payed to be there or is a robot).
so he plays tony stark and acts like a massive dick because that’s what everyone expects